March 25 started out to be an educational day for our family and it seemed like it would never end. While Jana and I were an emotional mess, we quickly had to learn what steps were necessary to care for a loved one after passing. First, we had to decide on the aftermath of what to do with mom. The hospital mentioned contacting a crematorium that could assist us with the next procedure. Luckily, John's brother-in-law, Mike, worked at Neptune Cremation Services and could assist us with our needs. While I never thought I would need to discuss this topic for many years, I had no choice but to drive out to the company and discuss the situation. John, Jana, I were met with very friendly people to help us make decisions. They would take care of everything; contact social security and prepare the death certificate. We were able to compare different urns that suited our needs. Since there was two of us (Jana and myself), they provided an extra urn free of charge. We just had to wait about two weeks to receive them in the mail.
In the following days, John and I were busy on the phone trying to figure out what our plans were, not to mention keep busy. Do we stay in Portland, move to Denver at the end of April, or move somewhere else? Knowing Oregon economy, our best bet was continue with the plans of moving to Denver. After deciding this factor, came insurance, life insurance, and taking care of mom's financial affairs. I never thought in a million years this part could be so difficult for relatives. I found out that I wasn't the beneficiary on any of her accounts. Even though I had a will of me being the personal representative, nobody seemed to care. It was hell. At least I was the beneficiary on her Kaiser paperwork. I was able to be an honest American citizen to protect my mom's affairs. After waiting two weeks, the death certificate finally arrived. I walked into the banks with paperwork in hand. It is funny how a credit union will semi work with you, yet a normal bank will not. Now I had to fight Oregon laws with Wells Fargo and wait 75 days to complete an Affidavit. How's rediculous is this. My mom just passed away and banks won't work with you.
People from mom's work and relatives started to ask about a service for mom. We thought of a lot of places, but realized that mom would have wanted privacy. After contemplating we thought the Beaverton Shilo Inn would be a good place since it had a gazebo and a little pond. John came up with the idea of having a "Celebration of Life" service for Chantelle, along with a little ceremony for him and I to get married at the same time. On April 4, we celebrated both Chantelle and us; it was a nice, warm day; mom would have enjoyed it. Jana, Curtis, and Cathi came to witness both events.
The rest of April was spent reorganizing, sorting, and sifting through mom's stuff to figure out what to keep, throw out, or give away. Since we were moving, we needed to get rid of weight. This was a hard time for both Jana and I. We didn't want to get rid of anything since it was our mom's stuff and everything seemed sentimental to us.
After about a week of literally going through 3/4 of mom's boxes, I started feeling terrible. Everything was finally hitting me big time; I was having anxiety attacks. I finally had John take me into urgent care to have them check me out. My heart was racing, my blood pressure was up, I felt dizzy, and couldn't stand up for very long. The doctor told me that I need to up my blood pressure medication properly and I would feel better (I had been taking 1/2 pill since unemployed and no insurance). He also gave me some meds to relax myself until I got to Denver. On our final day of living in Oregon, it took every energy in my body to get into the car and start driving.
It took us a few days to get to Denver since I kept having slight anxiety attacks, but forced myself to drive. I knew that once we arrived I could finally rest. On May 4, John and I drove past the Colorado border. For a minute, the muscle around my heart felt really tight while I was thinking about mom. She should have been driving here with us. I thought I was having a heart attack but it soon let up; it was anxiety. We finally drove into Denver around 2PM that day. It seemed like such a relief; home at last.
In the following days, John and I were busy on the phone trying to figure out what our plans were, not to mention keep busy. Do we stay in Portland, move to Denver at the end of April, or move somewhere else? Knowing Oregon economy, our best bet was continue with the plans of moving to Denver. After deciding this factor, came insurance, life insurance, and taking care of mom's financial affairs. I never thought in a million years this part could be so difficult for relatives. I found out that I wasn't the beneficiary on any of her accounts. Even though I had a will of me being the personal representative, nobody seemed to care. It was hell. At least I was the beneficiary on her Kaiser paperwork. I was able to be an honest American citizen to protect my mom's affairs. After waiting two weeks, the death certificate finally arrived. I walked into the banks with paperwork in hand. It is funny how a credit union will semi work with you, yet a normal bank will not. Now I had to fight Oregon laws with Wells Fargo and wait 75 days to complete an Affidavit. How's rediculous is this. My mom just passed away and banks won't work with you.
People from mom's work and relatives started to ask about a service for mom. We thought of a lot of places, but realized that mom would have wanted privacy. After contemplating we thought the Beaverton Shilo Inn would be a good place since it had a gazebo and a little pond. John came up with the idea of having a "Celebration of Life" service for Chantelle, along with a little ceremony for him and I to get married at the same time. On April 4, we celebrated both Chantelle and us; it was a nice, warm day; mom would have enjoyed it. Jana, Curtis, and Cathi came to witness both events.
The rest of April was spent reorganizing, sorting, and sifting through mom's stuff to figure out what to keep, throw out, or give away. Since we were moving, we needed to get rid of weight. This was a hard time for both Jana and I. We didn't want to get rid of anything since it was our mom's stuff and everything seemed sentimental to us.
After about a week of literally going through 3/4 of mom's boxes, I started feeling terrible. Everything was finally hitting me big time; I was having anxiety attacks. I finally had John take me into urgent care to have them check me out. My heart was racing, my blood pressure was up, I felt dizzy, and couldn't stand up for very long. The doctor told me that I need to up my blood pressure medication properly and I would feel better (I had been taking 1/2 pill since unemployed and no insurance). He also gave me some meds to relax myself until I got to Denver. On our final day of living in Oregon, it took every energy in my body to get into the car and start driving.
It took us a few days to get to Denver since I kept having slight anxiety attacks, but forced myself to drive. I knew that once we arrived I could finally rest. On May 4, John and I drove past the Colorado border. For a minute, the muscle around my heart felt really tight while I was thinking about mom. She should have been driving here with us. I thought I was having a heart attack but it soon let up; it was anxiety. We finally drove into Denver around 2PM that day. It seemed like such a relief; home at last.
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